hello every one. i wish you have a wonderful day. so i’m writing this after i had a conversation with one of my friend in my group. well it’s not a heavy conversation, just a light conversation, talked about each other’s mind and thoughts during undergraduate times, and about coass early days, our difficulties and stuff. but, today i’m going to share about one thing that mostly common between me and her. and maybe it’s a good thing if you had this kinda situation too.
have you ever feel lonely? like, you know, everyone have their own circle friends, and there’s just you, with no one to hang out with. well, I have and so does my friend. i don’t know if it’s only in my place or your place too, but studying dentistry major in my university, you can’t do it by yourself. you know, you have to find at last one friend to study with, to write a report together. even though the report is an individual task, but you need friends to know the right format report, the right references, and the most important is to motivate each other. don’t think that there were only one report, nope. there are two or more, every week. but that was in the first until third semester as i can remember.
and you need friends to copy mid-semester and end-semester test questions from the upper batch. you can’t get it by yourself right? you need acquaintance, and a large circle of friends. why this is important? i tell you a secret. some of the questions, sometimes are the same as the questions from the last semester. but sometimes are not the same, but similar. you see? it help us to get a higher grade.
if it’s not the questions, maybe just tips and the doctor’s typical style in test. it helps you prepare for the test. and then you can study together with your friend
you see, you can’t ‘live’ alone in dentistry during undergraduate times.
at the beginning of the first semester. i ‘live’ alone. well, at first, like usual everyone greeted each other, at least every person that seated beside them. still not knowing are they a good person or not. and then days goes by, they have friends that clicked each other, but not a strong relationships. and then, they started to go everywhere with that friends. and weeks goes by, they know where each other live and they go culinary together. and just like that they have they own circle.
me? nope. at the time they have their own circle, i still didn’t have one. so i started to think that i’m alone and i have to live with that for the rest of my study years. i only friends with them, but it’s just a friend-that-seated-beside-me and a friend-with-the-same-hometown. and after we moved class, they will go with their friends. and i’m alone again.
at a spike, i thought i have my own friend, i did have gone to a mall with some friends, but it doesn’t stay long. i forgot why. lol. as i can see, it wasn’t happen in my circle only. but it happen with some of them too. so in this part, they were still changing friends. still looked for the right friends. lol.
so then i thought, i can’t forever live alone like this, you know. i don’t know any information about stuffs. then i have a friend that comes from the same hometown with me. frankly, i did’t really like her lol. but there were some chances that i like being friend with her. then i just stick with her. by that time, she already have her circle of friends. and just like that, at almost in the end of the first semester, i slowly join her circle and become my circle hehehe.
but as the time flies, you will find your own circle of friends. i really thank God that i’ve found my own and we’re still hang out till now. even though we’re in the different block group, but we still find times to hang just for some light chit chat. they’re the best.
well how about you?
what if you still alone?
don’t worry. i have tips for you, and it’s based on my experience, you might find a different situation with you
first, be an open person
for me, being open is the first step. start with the little things, such as greet your friends first, and start to ask where they live, are they live near you or not, hobbies, and stuff about college. you’ll get into that. here’s some tips, if they talked a lot, just listen to them. it doesn’t do you any harm right, to be a good listener? or the least thing you can do, pretend you listen to them 🙂
second, don’t judge too fast
oh they’re ugly, i don’t wanna be friend with them. oh they’re pretty, i’d love to be friend with them. oh they’re too noisy. oh they’re too quiet. oh this, and that. no. don’t. stop. well i won’t deny that appearance of a person reflects their characteristics. but, at some point, you will know that they are not as they seem. and by then, try to be friends with them. and when you know that they weren’t good, you have 2 options, don’t be friends with them, and try to accept them which bring us to the third tips
third, learn to accept
this tips is for you who stuck to a group of people which you can’t leave them and you have to be part of them in the rest 7-8 semesters. this kinda group usually your lab group, presentation group, papers group, etc group that divided by your student number. and this person’s student number is right above or below you. you know what i mean?
at the first time your group gather, you will know their attitude, how they speak, and how they role in your group. and you might find someone or some people that was annoying to you. but you can’t deny them, you can’t just ask your lecturer to switch your group. no guys. this is how you’re tested to be grown up. just stay calm. accept ‘a part of’ them. look for something that makes you like them. don’t only focus on what makes you annoyed. just try. you’ll find a way.
well, that’s all that i can give you. i hope it’ll help your lonely problem. and one thing,
You are not alone
have a nice day 🙂